Signs Your Mate is Cheating on You

Some months ago I printed in this space a list of ways to tell if your mate is being unfaithful to you.  Here are some additional telltale signs of possible infidelity not covered in my previous column:

Source: Cheaters by Raymond Green (New Horizon Press)

Your mate often comes home late, is frequently having vehicle troubles or has frequent unexplained absences.
Your mate turns off his cell phone or pager—or doesn’t answer it—whenever you are around.

You receive hang-up telephone calls on a regular basis, or an unusually large number of calls that are wrong numbers.

Your mate won’t listen to his/her telephone messages when you can also hear them, and if you live separately, your mate’s telephone is off limits for you to answer.

When talking on the telephone, your mate walks away from you, leaves the room, whispers, gives short yes-or-no type answers or abruptly changes the topic of conversation when you enter the room.

Your mate has occasional special nights out when she is not to be bothered at all.

Your mate doesn’t take you to public functions or social events and avoids having you meet her new friends.

Your mate makes excuses about why his wedding ring is not being worn.
Your mate claims to spend a good deal of time at the local mall but seldom buys anything.

Your mate is working at the computer, and when you walk into the room, s/he quickly exits whatever program is running, turns the monitor screen down, turns off the monitor or clears the screen so you can’t see what was there.

Your mate convinces you that taking separate vacations is a good thing for you both.

Your mate frequently tells white lies.
Your mate accuses you of cheating, but has no real cause to suspect you.

Your mate would rather spend time with friends than be with you, shows no interest in your relationship’s future, or stops being affectionate.

Your mate has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he doesn’t want to discuss it and becomes very protective of his privacy.

Your mate’s car passenger seat is frequently moved to a different position when you get in.

Your mate’s car, bedroom, bathroom or hairbrush contains unfamiliar hairs.
Your mate carries a change of clothes or grooming products in her car, or brings them along when going for with an evening of socializing with friends.
Your mate’s clothing or vehicle frequently has the aroma of an unfamiliar smell such as perfume, aftershave, cigarettes or cigars.

Your mate’s long-distance or calling card charges increase dramatically.
Your mate comes home to you and is not wearing the same clothes s/he had on when leaving the house, or you notice certain pieces of clothing missing, such as underwear, nylons or socks.

Your mate comes home and takes a shower or bath right away, which is something s/he never did before.
Your mate keeps condoms in his/her wallet or purse, even though the two of you don’t use condoms.

You discover unexplained receipts for hotels, motels, clothing, jewelry or meals.

Your mate refuses to allow you to see the monthly cell phone or credit card statements